Internet Love Song
Soon, I will be emotionally shackled to a young, radiant woman in an ostensibly joyful and stress free ceremony. In between the addressing of invitations, agonizing over what to register for (first choice: viagra, second choice: crack), writing big deposit checks, and slugging down the lithium, I occasionally take a moment to feel some of the love which has suffused every cell of my being. To help focus on this, I have written this little love song for my betrothed.
I now share it with you, so that you may share it with one you love, and take the credit for writing it yourself. Fucker.
The song is written from the point of view of a man, addressing a woman. Thus, I will assume the person using this song is either a man or a particularly mannish lesbian.
The name of the Wife will be Mariann. If you use this love song yourself, be sure to substitute in the name of the woman you "love".
I do have music for it. I'll try to have a live webcast soon.
USENET Love Song
Oh, once I wandered all alone.
I know I can be hard to like.
(Chorus) Oh Mariann, Oh Mariann,
I'll bring you beer in frothy mugs,
Tonight I sit here in my shorts,
(Instrumental solo. I do a dance. After my triumphant Vogue/ Hand-Jive/Split combo, I continue.)
I do physics like Johnny Holmes.
In a few weeks we will be wed,
Oh Mariann, Oh Mariann,
So. How long until it becomes a standard?
Like computer games? A great fantasy adventure awaits you here.