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Why Temptation Island
Is The Greatest Thing Ever

I have always been a patron of the Awful arts. I've seen Plan Nine From Outer Space five times. When the fat, naked, evil, scheming, gay corporate trainer won Survivor, I literally cheered. I was honestly disappointed when Fox decided not to make a second Who Wants To Marry A Multimillionaire. I'm not really proud of this element of my tastes, but I'm not ashamed either.

This is why I feel that Temptation Island has the potential to be one of the greatest things ever in the history of anything.

For the uninitiated, this show is on Fox (duh). In it, four couples, together between 1.5 and 5 years, are brought to a tropical island and separated. They are then given booze and access to a dozen hot singles of the desired sex. Meanwhile, the makers of the show do everything in their power to increase distrust between the pairs and drive them to bang a hot stranger.

It's so cynically sick and wrong that I can't help but break into a wide grin just thinking about it. Why, the couples were squabbling and sniping at each other before they even went to their opposite ends of the island! After the separation, the guys sat around, drank, and caroused. The girls sat in a tight little circle, sobbed, and comforted each other.

But, if the previews are to be believed, it is the attached women who will become the total ho-bags, and the guys who will be consumed with mistrust and paranoia.

It's like gladiators slaughtering wild dogs. Except that the psyches of the participants are the dogs. And the executives at Fox are the gladiators. It's really, really great.

Now, don't get me wrong. I have not yet given myself over to Temptation Island. I have been burned before. The bland betrayal that was Big Brother on CBS still stays with me. The couples may stay chaste and nothing truly horrifying will happen. Or Fox might pussy out and cancel the show. The goody-two-shoes busybodies are out in force on this one.

But I still have hope. When it comes to good TV exploitation, I am like a delicate flower. Fox has enticed me to gently open my petals. But only following through on the promise will get me to expose my bud.

Some say that Temptation Island is a sign of the decay of our culture. I disagree. I think it means that our culture is becoming honest at last

Do not fight it. Join us.


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