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Temptation Island, Episode 2

When a Fox executive went on the record as saying that Temptation Island would have no sex and only a little kissing, I was, frankly, depressed. If I'm going to invest six hours in voyeuristic enjoyment of human degradation, then, not to put too fine a point on it, but I want to see some pink, damn it.

After seeing the second episode, I see that my worrying was in vain.

The show constantly cuts to people talking about their "love" partners and the people they went out on dates with. And the things they say are so cold, so cutting, that one almost believes that it was scripted. Fortunately, I have a great and cynical belief in the human capacity for self-absorbed shallowness, so, for the most part, my credibility is sustained.

And oh, it is marvelous. One woman, on her date, is thrilled to have the guy she's with pay for something. Later, she tells the camera how her boyfriend's "career choice" keeps him from ever buying anything for her. (The word "loser" was never uttered, but it was easy to read between the lines.) Her boyfriend, at the same time, is saying how his date is an 8.5 or 9 on a scale of 1 to 10, and that his girlfriend is about an 8.

Picturing the icy chill between them as they watch the episode together is worth the price of admission. Assuming they're still together. Which would be marvelous, if true.

Sadly, the couple with the most open coldness, cruelty, and mutual animosity will be booted from the island during the next episode for failing to disclose to Fox executives that they have a child. But the six brainless thugs who remain still have plenty of potential for juicy, Roman-style suffering.

Because most people don't need for their partner to fuck someone else to go mad with jealousy. A kiss is more than sufficient. Or a hug. Or simply the awareness that they want to be with another person more.

And, in closing, I say two things. First, I do not feel that it is wrong to lust so for the suffering of my fellow "Humans". After all, one of the female contestants is described as, I swear to god, a "Singer/Waitress." How can a person such as this even be considered to be a member of our species?

And second, you must watch this show. It is the defining turning point of our culture.


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