Subject: ani vs jewel
Whoever wrote that article on Jewel being cooler than Ani, is a fucking moron. Not that I think one is cooler than the other, but the article was just SO stupid!! Maybe you should write an article about how much cooler everyone is than you, including Jewel and Ani. Just because the majority of people who listen to that kind of music prefer Ani, doesn’t mean she thinks she’s any “cooler” than anyone else. You obviously have no creative or musical abilities, talents, knowledge, so do everyone a favor and SHUT THE FUCK UP!! thanks
You, Yeah you, funny guy...Im sitting at my computer, eating ice cream and reading your article on ejaculation pills and I almost fucking choked. The ice cream was spat part on the rug, part back in the cup. Much coughing and watering of eyes. Childrens Dosage!You ( almost ) slay me. Were having a baby girl too and one of my friends whose 17 year old girl was just busted after smoking speed tried to explain to me the horrors of raising a girl. I did not sleep well that night. In the morning I remembered he left his wife and children when they were young so he could go out and fuck other women and get high. My friend is an asshole. Must have been all that Scientology he did back in the olden days. Just had to share.
Subject: Lord of the Rings
Liked the comments on the incompetence of the Nazgul. Sauron should offer better benefits, maybe he'd attract quality henchmen.
I have a more profound problem with the Lord of the Rings (and I had the same problem in the book). If Gandalf can escape from Sarumans' tower with a Roc, why can't the same bird fly Frodo from the Shire to Mt. Doom! I guess the book would have been too short.
Subject: Another satisfied customer
It's bad enough you offer recipes for "tasty meat" right on Spiderweb's site, but Irony Central has guaranteed that I will never buy anything from you again. Cordelia can pump gas for a living for all I care. Go fuck yourself, asswipe.
Re: Working Out article
Another entertaining thing to do at the gym is listen to other people's conversations. This always makes me feel superior. Of course once you have heard the diet discussion it loses some of its entertainment value when you have to hear it again and again.
There were two girls who were friends at my old gym who compared notes every day (that is until the vicious fight about who had the looser morals) about what they had eaten that day. Based on the conversation, it seemed to me they subsisted largely on fat free yogurt and metabolite diet supplement (like real life but not as filling or tasty). I never could figure out what diet they were supplementing.
I also became friends with several aerobics instructors and one dark night somehow sucked into the dreaded "What size are you" conversation. This involves all the women in the group bemoaning their teeny size 6 pants or some similar problem. Unable to take it anymore, I said, "I'm a size ten."
Dead silence followed. Then Suzie (all aerobics instructor's names end with "ie".) said in a comforting voice, "Well, you don't really look like a size ten." Unable to choose between slitting my wrists or hers I went home trying to figure out at what point in the relationship my character became synonymous with the size of my skirt.
-- Shayna Abrams
Re: Real Change article
Dear Mr. Vogel,
I have just discovered your website, and have now read "I Hate the Real Change". As an employee of Fox, I resent the statement that we are in the business of "mockery of the insane and the exploitation of the powerless". The people we mock may be considered insane, but have not been medically proven to be so. Likewise, a state of powerless[ness] cannot be quantified. Therefore, we may still go about our business and maintain the image of respectable morality.
As far as homeless magazines go, I feel that the homeless should have a magazine for themselves. Not only would it include their rants, but have suggestions such as "1001 uses for old cardboard boxes", "Tips on Where to Find Shelter" and "Edible Urban Flora and Fauna". If your selflessness extends so far, perhaps you can submit suggestions and help write an article for this publication. Perhaps you can then elevate the status of The Real Change into a more respected newsletter, and in the process turn yourself into a respected journalist.
Like computer games? A great fantasy adventure awaits you here.