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Election Musings for November 9, 1994

It is 3:25 AM. I have just watched several straight hours of election returns. I've been rocking back and forth spastically, cackling with glee.

I've also been naked.

Do not be fooled, my followers. Go ahead and sink back into the gooey taffy of complacence, my foes. Today has been a great victory for the Scorched Earth Party.

You may laugh. You may so "You didn't take any seats, none at all, you naked, twitching goofball!" But what will you be doing then, when our plant in the Pataki campaign begins the sublimial conditioning of the victor? How will you feel when suddenly, overnight, Steve Largent suddenly starts spewing violent propaganda of the most hideous (to you) sort? And when my servants slip the mind-control slugs into the right nostril of Tommy Thompson, oh where will your victory be then?

Our followers crawl up through the ranks. They know what it is to be rank! I am filled with joy. So full of it am I, that if you were here right now, follower or not, naked or not, I would beat you to death with a lead pipe.

And isn't that how it should be?

Scorched Earth Party -

"Taking over America, one synapse at a a time."

- Jeff Vogel Scorched Earth Party


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